local events

confusion about local events

did you drive on the road on the way to work today?
did you drink or eat something this month?
did you put your right sock on and your left sock on?


Non-locals ask this very funny question.
Did you go to the "local event"?

The short answer: FUCK NO! WHY THE FUCK WOULD I EVER GO TO THAT STUPID THING?
SLighty better answer: (to the person asking the question) Did you come to this event, everyday, for last 30 years? WHY NOT!!! IT IS AWESOME.


Seriouly Folks, I go to that local event 24 hours a day when it happens.
I hear them set up, I hear them during the event, I hear them breaking down the event.
I walk outside and I have to spend 10 minutes getting past people standing in the middle of the fucking sidewalk blocking all humans from ever getting past them. There's no parking for my visitors.

That local event that you might spend two hours at?
FUCK THAT

No I never go to that stupid event.
Once, 300 years ago it was mildly interesting.
Now? FUCK NO, and stop asking about it.


My new answer.
Yes, yes I go, I get up early on the first day and spend 12 hours there.
Then I get up even EARLIER the next day to spend even more time.
I havent missed a SINGLE second of the event in 30 years.
Why havent you joined me? What is wrong with you?!!!
Seriously, there is something wrong with you for not spending at least 24 hours here with me!!!!


LOL