long version two

People questioned her Memory.

Let's play a game.

I can remember the first girl I kissed (MM). It was in the park near the house, night, on the swings, she kissed me cause I was talking (shocking!).

The date? LOL fall? The year? HS so 78?79?

The first woman that I slept with (MD). It was my house? her house? afternoon. 80? 81? date? no clue.

The second woman (PT). Same thing, 81, 82? date?? LOL seriously??? who knows.

I could probably ... with some effort .... name every woman that I kissed and slept with. Probably get them MOSTLY in the right order. Dates and times? nope.

I have been engaged TWICE ... I can not tell you the date or time (evening). Year ... I could ... guess the year?? I wont tell you the restaurants sigh ... neither were what ... I would do today ... if I planned ... LOLOL

IF we cant remember normal IMPORTANT DATES ... why do we think that a rape victim, a YOUNG rape victim, would?

We can't find our car keys, why do we think that SHE would have a photographic memory, with perfect details??

in the LONG LIST of teaching and training our sons and daughters (and selves) ....

a) go to the hospital and get a rape kit done

(if nothing else, they will collect evidence)

b) if nothing else, write the details down

c) strangely enough, these ACTIONS HELP TREAT the PTSD.

d) have someone, anyone, who you can tell, anything to, with zero judgement.

(no really, your child HEARD YOU shame her!!! do you think that they will tell you? and risk being shamed and blamed? even something as minor as a grope in school?)

The few times that I have been there, when someone shared early, I believed. nothing more, nothing less.

The few times that I WAS THERE ... nothing ... nothing was more important to me ... EVER.

They needed someone to talk to ... I listened.

And that has made all the difference.