long version one

IF you don't believe THIS, why?

OK, tell us about your deepest darkest moment.

You know, the one that YOU TOLD the police and your parents and the perp was arrested and charged and went to prison.

Right?

OK, tell us about the GROPE ... you told your parents and friends, right?

sigh

NO ONE TELLS ANYONE these events. Our society beats it out of us.

(I know a bunch of you did ... and the hells that you went through ...)

The greatest LIE told in this case ... was MEMORY.

No one remembers the date and time. No one.

(yes, ok, some of you did, burned into your souls, sorry)

Do you remember the DATE of your first kiss? The TIME? The ADDRESS?

You remember WHO. And around when.

This is true for virtually ALL memories.

We do NOT remember exact dates and times and addresses.

We remember the person. The feeling.

THIS is why identifying the rapist, when it is a STRANGER is SO HARD.

We are terrible at remembering things.

Proof: describe the stranger that sat next to you. (bus, lunch counter, bus stop)

Describe what you wore, 10 years ago, last monday. You can not.

SHE KNEW that she had a shirt on and a bathing suit.

SHE KNEW the men that were in the room.

They werent strangers. what they were wearing?? doesnt matter

the exact date? doesnt matter. The YEAR ... she COULD narrow it down ... she did ... it was A or B .... the house? puhlease .....

Can you give the address of every house that you have been to?

The address of every rental house?

FYI - when you blame HER for drinking that one beer, you become evil.

Your lack of empathy .... makes you just as bad as the rapists.

You reinjure, retraumatize.

FYI - you dont believe this? mhmmm but we have taken names.

We know that you have no empathy.

ALAS .... we .... we do ... so when it happens to you ... when you get cancer ... or a car accident or anything .... we still wont blame you.

We never will. May your all forgiving god exist ... without him, you are in hell for all eternity.