Liberal vs Conservative

Liberal - Favoring proposals for reform, open to new ideas for progress, and tolerant of the ideas and behavior of others; broad-minded.
Conservative - Favoring traditional views and values; tending to oppose change.

You have 3 addition obvious groups:
Further Left - Radical Liberals, which include socialists, communists, anarchists. They might be 10-15% of the country.

Further Right - Radical Conservatives, which include, tea party nuts and randists

The Middle - Centrists 

If you split the groups into 5 equal parts of 20% each, you will always get 60% in the middle, center-left, center and center-right. Whoever wins The Middle will pretty much always win the general election. They have the numbers. Even in primaries, the candidate which is closer to the center tends to win. (look at gore, kerry, mccain and romney, all of them were centrists to some degree or another compared to their competition. 

A third party? LOL
The far right would be too small, the far left would be too small, and these are the people who WANT a 3rd party, which would really be a 3rd and 4th party.

The only 3rd party that could work at all would be a centrist party (which is what the democrats have become - clinton and obama are both centrists or even slightly right of center.)

A centrist party could be from 40-60% of the voters, with 20 to 30% being on each side.

The centrist party would almost always win.

IF the GOP splits in two parts, they will always lose to the democrats. If the DEMS split, they will always lose to the GOP. Therefore, neither party will every split.

It would be interesting if center-right members left to become centrist-independents and caucused with the democrats. Shifting the majority further toward the center to center-left. The likelihood of the reverse happening is lower, that shift has already happened over the last 50 years with conservative dems switching to the GOP.

writing to a friend, while listening to sad music and talking about the dark times

"There can be no light without the dark. Songs like this help make the light so much brighter. Compare where you are today with those dark days. The pictures of Aria's shiny little face are reflecting your glow."

Leslie Sharp and Andrew Lincoln

Look, you never listen, you never watch the movies or shows that I go on and on about.
But once in a blue moon, ONE of you trusts me a tiny bit, Keith just started Chuck, he got to episode 10 without even trying, Denise watched Season 1 of Battlestar Galactica and was amazed.

So I am rewatching an episode of Dr Who, dont worry, you would hate it, but it guest stars Leslie Sharp and she is AMAZING. So the first time that I was watching this one episode, as always happens when I am watching and entertaining myself, I google the show and look at what else actors have done.

Well, Leslie Sharp was in a short series with Andrew Lincoln.

WAIT WHAT? Andrew Lincoln? The same guy from The Walking Dead?
Well I love that series, so of course I would be interested in something that both of them were in, right?
RIGHT??

Afterlife
University lecturer Robert Bridge (Andrew Lincoln) becomes involved in a series of supernatural events surrounding medium Alison Mundy (Lesley Sharp) in this chilling TV series.

Look, I am not sure how I would explain this to convince you to watch it.
Haunting
Compelling
Amazing
One of my all time favorites.

Like all supernatural stories, they ask you to suspend disbelief. And if they ask too much, you can not enjoy the show. This one ask for the tiniest bit. One that a lot of people already believe, which makes the transition so easy. She can see ghosts.

That's it. She can see ghosts.

The consequences though are what make the stories amazing.
Some of them wont leave her alone. Some living want to contact the dead. Some are restless spirits, trying to be released.

Andrew Lincoln plays a psychologist who interviews her. Of course, he has a few ghosts of his own. Which will break your heart.

In the end, this is just some amazing writing and acting and directing from the BBC.

Enjoy

PS
If anyone ever watches this, let me know, I really want to know what you thought!

SHIT PISS FUCK CUNT - swearing in the future

The article was pretty worthless without discussing what would be the NEW profanity topics. Science Fiction has led the way in a bunch of different stories and we can go from there.

If and when the vegans get there way and become the majority, there will be many swear words for the meat eaters.
Carnivorewould become an insult.

Recycling and waste. Look at how people already look at you funny if you toss a can or bottle in the trash. There is clearly something wrong with you. Waster! Dont get me started about wasting water or electricity, you  nasty clean freak.

If homo-sex became more common than hetero-sex, people would be ripping on straights and breeders.

FFS look at how the Luddites have turned education into an insult already. Elite has become an insult!!

At some point if the atheists ever become the majority, believers would be the new group to hate on.

1% percenters havent quite turned into a hated group. But if the economy died, they certainly would join the ranks of the insulted.

Private vs public transportation.
Private homes vs Renters
Full time vs part time
Healthy vs sick
Fat vs trim
Tall vs short

strange, the article didnt mention any of these as what the future would hold for swear words.

Conservatives, liberals, bigots.
When does moderate become an insult?

Prude will come back in fashion to insult the people who are still insulted by shiat piss fark.

Facebook Changed the World

So
The world has CHANGED.

We have NEW THINGS.
I have people who are FB friends.
More than strangers, less than close friends (in the normal definition).
I have friend who I have met through games (wow in my case).
More than strangers, less than traditional close friends.

Does having not met some of these people in real life make them less than friends?
Well that is the NEW PART. The world has changed. Some I have met, some I will meet, some I never will. But some have become very close in strange, wonderful ways.


There is Patricio. A modern day Renaissance man. Just amazing stories and times. (and a trip to mexico will solve the never having met in RL)
There is Mélanie with one of the most amazing kids.

But the list goes on and on.
The people who are friend of a friend. Who we touch so briefly. So lightly.
Pictures of happenings. Moments shared.
Are they less meaning full because we have never met in RL?
Really?

To dismiss them out of hand, well, it feels like such an insult to me. And more so, to them.


Then there are the people, friends that were long, long gone, that I have reconnected with. I had dinner and saw a talk with a long lost friend from college, it was amazing. Like we hadnt stopped. Except for all the new stuff. Good and Bad.


Make what you will out of it.
But Facebook has changed the world.
Like all new things, there has been great good from it.
And great evil.


But dont you dare dismiss it. Because that is so simplistic.

And insulting.
To me.

Bigots

I was insanely lucky. My parents were not bigots. An aunt who is chinese and one of my dad's best friends was black. We lived next door to mexicans.

And then I went to school. All the kids in grade school were bigots and hated that one PR kid. Who was my friend.

And then I went to Catholic HS for 1 year. Which was filled with bigots and unending fights.

AND THEN I GOT INSANELY LUCKY!
I was forced to go to the this TERRIBLE inner city school. I was going to be in the minority?!! 10-20% white. tops.

THANK GOD
My three years at Whitney Young were a god send.
Surround by fellow student who were smarter than me. Period.
Few, if anyone cared what race someone was. (for the most part)

Oh look, my class secretary sleeps with the president!!!!
Yah ....
Being blind to racism meant that I was able to not THINK that way. Sure, I had to learn about injustice and bias and racism. But I am pretty sure that bigots never learn about it, they just CAUSE it.

Of all the things that I value which I got from my parents, being blind to race is the one which I will value until the day I die.

Single Drive DATA Recovery for Dummies - Buffalo Linkstation Pro

(This process is explicitly for a Buffalo, but will work for any single drive external storage device.)
(If your drive has 2-4 drives in a raid configuration, well, that answer is MUCH harder, email me and I could write up what you "need", but it is so much harder and annoying.)

1) remove the drive from the case
(if you cant do this, are afraid, dont own a screw driver, are worried that you will break it, well, you need to pay someone to do it for you)

2) external cable - buy one of these - they are dirt cheap and you will use them over and over
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000UO6C5S

3) plug your drive in (cables are pretty fraking trivial)

4) download
http://www.diskinternals.com/linux-reader/ - just read the drive
http://www.diskinternals.com/linux-recovery/ - read and recover files
http://www.diskinternals.com/ntfs-recovery/
http://www.diskinternals.com/partition-recovery/

most/a lot of the external NAS devices use linux,
5) try the linux version first,
6) if that doesnt work try the ntfs version
7) if that doesnt work try partition recovery, but now things are getting ugly

If you need help using this software, read what they have on their website.

Bigotry

South Park did an AMAZING episode a few years back. About racism. Token kept saying that you dont get it. And in the end, Kyle/Stan said "I finally get it. I DONT GET IT."

I will never be able to understand what a gay, black female has gone through. EVER. No amount of analogy and discussion and actively seeing bigotry can ever get your to understand.

I can actively try to understand, I can listen and watch. I can SPOT when people are being bigots.
But I will never understand.

Scalzi - the evolution of thoughts harassment

this first article was the START of a series of postings on harassment 

http://whatever.scalzi.com/2012/07/31/readercon-harassment-etc/

scalzi was replying to THIS event http://blog.bcholmes.org/the-readercon-thing/

It became CLEAR that this is something which scalzi has been thinking about and talking about.

which led to THIS

http://whatever.scalzi.com/2013/07/02/my-new-convention-harassment-policy/

which if NOTHING ELSE was ever said, is just an AMAZING thing

small, but a start 

but nothing with scalzi ends up that way

http://whatever.scalzi.com/2013/07/05/convention-harassment-policy-follow-up/

the follow up questions and answers are always amazing.

but it isnt over yet.

http://whatever.scalzi.com/2013/07/03/my-convention-harassment-policy-co-sign-thread/

he is TAKING NAMES !!

Scalzi on SWM = easy mode

SWM = easy mode

http://whatever.scalzi.com/2012/05/15/straight-white-male-the-lowest-difficulty-setting-there-is/

http://whatever.scalzi.com/2012/05/17/lowest-difficulty-setting-follow-up/

proc summary - BY statement versus CLASS statement

So on the way to writing some impossible code, I ran into the equally strange results using code and false assumptions which I have made for years now.

Mitch and John

As our group works with larger datasets, more and more often, it continues to be important to “worry” about runtimes.

The original problem was intractable. Computing number of trips is non-additive. Computing number of trips for 150 million possible combinations of dimensions, for 100 million trips, is something new.

I tried proc SQL in SAS and failed. Even in a real database, the amount of memory needed is on the order of 5TB! Splitting the input into 100 chunks reduces that requirement to only 50GB of memory, which is tractable.

Mitch, this means that we have reached the edge again. Non-additive measures in this space is right on the edge of possible.

TL;DR (aka short answer)
Using a BY statement does not mean that your code will run faster.

Sometimes a CLASS statement is the only proper answer, esp if it fits in memory.

Long Answer

Version A:

proc summary data=xtrips_01_sort_V     missing  nway  threads ; 

      by n_market  n_products  n_time  n_demos  n_trips    ;

      var  prj_factor dollars_A2  dollars_A4  units_A4  ;

      output  out=perm.xtrips_03_sort_&part.  ( drop=_:   )   n(prj_factor)=trips_A1  sum=trips_A2    dollars_A2  dollars_A4  units_A4  ;

      format _numeric_ comma15. ;

run ;

Version B:

proc summary data=xtrips_01_sort_V     missing  nway  threads ; 

      class n_market  n_products  n_time  n_demos  n_trips    ;

      var  prj_factor dollars_A2  dollars_A4  units_A4  ;

      output  out=perm.xtrips_03_sort_&part.  ( drop=_:   )   n(prj_factor)=trips_A1  sum=trips_A2    dollars_A2  dollars_A4  units_A4  ;

      format _numeric_ comma15. ;

run ;

Facts

input file

270 million records

35gb sas compressed data (which uses more pages than uncompressed? So clearly I should not have compressed on LOL)

Sorted! The dataset was created by a previous proc summary with a CLASS statement, so it is SORTED by the same set of variables (plus a couple of more at the end).

Output file

20 million records

2gb (gah TURN COMPRESSION OFF!!! If you have not character strings, compression isn’t that useful!!)

Assumptions

1)      I have to run this code 100 times. It is critical that it not take an insane amount of time.

2)      Given that the input dataset is sorted, we know that using the by statement will be faster.

3)      We know that using the class statement will use more memory because it will have to store all the results before writing the file out.

4)      So I assumed that Version A would run faster than Version B and probably a LOT faster.

Results and the wakeup call

1)      Version A took from 10-20 hours. I killed it long before it finished.

2)      Version B took 10 minutes. Read that again. 10 minutes.

3)      Yes, version B took 4gbs of memory to run, but so what. We have tons of memory.

Conclusions

1)      Do not assume that you need to sort the data before using proc summary.

2)      If your output dataset from proc summary can “fit” in memory, use a class statement without sorting first

You think I am kidding?
Here is another example:

Input file:            503,012,176 records – (unsorted data – sorting takes about 70 mins on its own!)

Output file:        269,648,824 records – 35gb!

Memory used:  45gb !!!

Time:                    60mins

Here is the insane part, I have to run this process 100 times.

I am looking at 100-150 hours of total running time.

How much time are you wasting in your jobs?

How many times do you run summary in how many jobs over how many days over how many years?

If you do it a lot, maybe you need to invest some time to save some time.

Alas, I am pretty certain the results are the reverse or irrelevant for small/tiny datasets.

Spend an hour testing on your longest running proc sort and proc summary.

amazon instant video connection speed solution

So, you have amazon prime and you finally realize that you can watch free movies and TV shows on your computer. (Yes, some of us are SLOW with this new tech.) You have been watch Amazon Instant Video (AIV) on your iPad and it has worked great. But now you want to finish the show you started on your iPad on you laptop or desktop. No problem!!

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0088W6DPI/?forceBR=5

replace B0088W6DPI with whatever the AIN is for your movie or show!
(for slower connections, try 4 or 3)

killing my home land line

OK ---- so this is directed to people who have DONE this, are thinking of DOING this, or have read about a solution for this. (NO, I am not getting rid of my old phones, a cell phone meets NONE of my actual home requirements)

I am trying to replace my land line with my cellular-based solution.  BUT, I work from home, on the PHONE A LOT and a cell phone is NOT the solution, no matter what headset is used.  I crack up when people suggest something that works for them. I have tried everything. NONE of them come even close to working.

A short list of a couple of the infinite number of reasons why I can not use my cell phone:

• battery life is infinitely too short - I am on the phone for hours, few batteries last for hours and hours.(my fully charged phone claims that it would last 5 hours ...)

• well just plug it in - UM NO ... if I wanted to have a corded phone, why would we even be talking here?

• well use a headset!! - hahah ahahahha hahahahaha - while I am certain that whatever you use is perfect for you, I already have 4 headsets which I use with my cordless home phones. They are perfect. I tried them and other headsets for my cell phone and stopped after 3 seconds. They met zero of my needs, biggest one being actually working at least as good as my current set up.

• One phone number - Less subtle but just as important, people always seem to call the wrong phone number. They call my cell when it is on the couch in the other room. No, I am NOT carrying it everywhere, nor can I hear it everywhere in the house. DUH. They call my home phone on the 4 times I actually leave the house each week. And it is always important when they do. HAHAHAHAH
  (Having one number makes most of these problems go away!)

Minimal list of requirements:

• works with my current cordless headsets
• uses my existing phone number - one number to rule them all, and in the darkness bind them
• let me cancel my current land-line service

There are different approaches and I have just begun looking and not every solution fits everyone's needs.

AT&T Wireless Home Phone - free with 2 year contract - http://tinyurl.com/c8cfgw8
It is a cell phone for your house.  This type solution is a possibility for some people. It replaces your physical phone service, with a cell based service. Basically converting your existing home phone into "cell" phone.

PROS
This would allow you to use your existing home cordless phones.
Use your existing home phone number.

CONS
monthly service with the provider.


Phonelabs - 100-200ish - http://tinyurl.com/6ppr6 - uses your actual cell phone - but you can use your regular cordless home phones

PROS
This would allow you to use your existing home cordless phones.

CONS
Would require that you transfer your home phone number to your cell phone. This isnt really a con. Except for people who only know my cell number needing to learn my new number. Not really a problem at all.
(Why not keep my cell number and dump my old number? I LOVE MY OLD NUMBER!! I have had it for 30+ years. It is like a child to me!!)

xtreme xlink - http://tinyurl.com/bjtyfn5 - 

cheap ...
looks like I might buy one just to do a test run ... LOL





Now to find out if either doesnt completely suck.

Starship Troopers and Voting

I find Starship Troopers (ST) to still be thought provoking. The question of who should get "the vote" is quite interesting to continue thinking about.

Who should vote:

Felons after they are released having served their time?

Felons serving their time?

Felons on parole?

People committed to a mental institute?

Very low IQ people? Lower than 50? Lower than 75?

Very uneducated people? Unable to add, read or write?

What about brain-damaged? To what level?

Very old people who are losing their faculties? 

What about special classes?

Everyone gets 1 vote.

People paying less than 20k in taxes (including sales, local, state, federal) get 2 votes.

People paying 20k-100k get 3 votes.

People paying more than 100k get 4 votes.

so yah, I use ST as a starting point to thinking about the consequences and unintended consequences of different voting schemes. The consequences of a tax paying weighted system can be interesting. 

The group paying the most into the social tax fund would have the most impact on who gets elected.

The group paying the least would still get some say, but not enough to pull things to one extreme or another.

The group paying the most per person would get a bigger say, but they are such a small number of people that they would not be an issue.

The people avoiding paying taxes would have less say than if they had paid their fair share.

/as I said, thinking can be fun. yes I know all about the down sides, but the thinking alone can be useful.

debt ceiling increases by president

Reagan:  17 increases, 300% increase, 0.9 to 2.8
Bush 1.0:  6 increase, 150% increase, 2.8 to 4.1
Clinton:  4 increases, 150% increase, 4.1 to 5.95
Bush 2.0:  7 debt increases, 190% increase, 5.95 to 11.3
Obama:  3 debt increases, 126% increase, 11.3 to 14.3

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2011/07/26/raw-data-past-debt-ceiling-increases/

Finding People

Finding People

So, my new years resolution was to find someone from my past and return some possessions to her.

Sounds simple. But it is quite a story, which hasnt quite ended yet.

The beginning (1992-1994):
LONG AGO and, well, right here, I used to live with my girlfriend. We lived together for 3 years at two addresses. When she moved out, I stayed at the final address. Still here.
(this took place long enough ago that the dates are only approximations)

Skip ahead a bit (1999?):
At some point, I was remodeling a closet or three, which required moving everything from A to B and then back again. While doing this, I moved boxes from back corners and high shelves which had inches of dust from having been buried for so long. WAIT, WHAT?  BETH BOOKS? BETH PHOTOS?

Um, why would I have boxes with someone else's name on them?? UhOh.
First box was uninteresting. Old college texts, Ann Rice vampire books, god knows what else. Nothing to see here. I didnt toss the box then, but over the years, the books went away. In the end, they had little or no value.

Second box was a COMPLETELY different story. And I mean COMPLETELY.
Photos.
We forget, living today what that used to mean. But back in 96 (remember when we used to use only two digits for years?? LOL) most people took photos on this really really really really old tech called FILM. If you lost the photos or the negatives (backups!) you were screwed. There was this even stranger TECH called POLAROID. Polaroids didnt even have backups. If you lost them, they were gone forever.

So I opened this large box, Perfecopy paper box, you know, the boxes which have a CASE of copy paper in them? pretty good size. heavy box.

Filled with photos and negatives and more.
What the? How long has this been sitting here?
A quick look confirmed that the photos were NOT MINE. They were Beth's. London, Egypt, Greece, who knows where else. Keepsakes.

In an envelope, Polaroids. From when she was very young. Irreplaceable.

Off all the dick things I have ever done in my life, throwing these out would be wrong. Period.


The Search Begins (1999?):
Fine, so today, everyone KNOWS what you do to find someone. FACEBOOK!!!
But WHAT did you do back in 1999? Can you even remember back that far?
Google? was a baby. the patent for the search was 1998. So while it existed, it was crude.
Netscape? (remember them?!!) started in 1994, so things where still crude in 1999.
Facebook? still 5+ years away
Myspace? 4+ years away
Linkedin?? 5+ years away and no one used it for years

I did what you did back then. I called people I knew that knew her and tried to get a phone number or address.

Complete and Total Failure. Nothing. Nada.
No one had a number or an address. Searches at the time led me nowhere.
So, I quit. The box went back up on a shelf.

Continuing (2000-2012):
About once a year, I would do a search. Searching got a LOT better. New websites like peoplesearch collected strange data and combined it to create people histories.
Oh look, this one looks like Beth. NY, Troy, Texas, Chicago. Oh look, it includes college info and places of work in chicago?! Clearly this is the right Beth.
Sigh. The info got me no where.

(passage of time)

Finally contacted a mutual friend who said "peace corps" and Ukraine.
Hmmmmm more data. Would account for a discontinuity in the address data in the US.
Ooooo look, search found a small reference to her in Ukraine+Peace Corps.
Led nowhere.

(passage of time)

YAY Facebook is HUGE NOW. GOOGLE HAS EVERYTHING.
Crap. None of that helps.
1) Women get married and change their names? Well that makes things much harder.
2) Some people avoiding facebook/public stuff like the plague.

I get it. Esp people who are being stalked or worried about kids or or or or or. But, in the end, there are pros and cons to everything.

So I still dont know her last name, marriage status, not even the state or country she might be living in.

(passage of time)
I would search about once a year.
Some of you KNOW THIS.
Over the years I have slowly reconnected with a couple of people from my past and it has been truly wonderful. Had lunch the other day with my OLDEST friend from highschool. We cried and laughed and it was like we had never been apart.

2013 and Trina:
I decided that this was the year. Period.
My resolution for 2012 had been a 100% success. I decided that THIS years resolution would be to get these photos out of my house. Tossing them out? NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN.

More searching led to SD. Yes, South Dakota. Evidently, people live there.
I found a picture on the web, 100% certain it was Beth. Oh look, a linkedin entry, right college, married name. NOTHING ELSE. Fine, Linked email. But at least I was on to something.

Trina
I met Trina through bet, back in the 90s when they both lived in Chicago. She was good friends with Beth, we became friends. They both moved out of Chicago. (which sounds like something CRAZY PEOPLE DO!!! Why would anyone leave Chicago???) Time and distance took the normal tolls.

Trina and I had reconnected on facebook. She was in town recently. We had sushi. MMMMMM
So of course at some point I brought this up. BOOM!
The flood gates open.
1) yes she got married
2) yes she changed her name
3) yes she had kids
4) yes she lives in SD
5) no, I dont think I have a current address or phone number. HAHAHAHA so close!!

At least now, searches were returning real info.
She worked here, she might work here now.
WTF, here is a photo of her kids on cruise in the local paper? Talking about how awesome it is to take a cruise with your family!!

NOW:
I still dont have a current address or phone number or email. UGH
But I do have an email for a possible current work.

TADA
Email to her work. Hopefully they will write back.
Otherwise I am back to cold calls/letters.

The story is NOT over yet, but I am hoping and expecting to be going to the UPS store some day SOON.

There is a lesson which was learned here.
Unless you are hiding from dangerous past, put a tiny STUB out there?
It can have 1 picture, your name, your married name and an email that you never, ever use.
So you can ignore anything and everything that goes to that email.
BUT, someone you REALLY might want to reach you might be able to find you.

People are so strange about privacy. I get it. But a tiny stub with no actual contact info could lead to so much unexpected stuff.

GAH, I would really hate to find out that the reason that she has been so hard to find is that she is in hiding from the Ukrainian mob ;-)

to be concluded once I mail the damn box!!
and it will be my good deed for the year.
I hope I am done soon, so I can go back to being evil.

-Pete

Letter to Denise on the topic of death

sigh

so friday drinks, and food as needed ...

MIKE is insisting that I play squahs, which is fine

which does leave the questions:

when are you getting here?

how driving train? you could borrow the car to help make things easier. plus zip car... blah blah blah

part car by pete's house

meet at the club

if you are early, you can watch some squash or swim or run or or or or drink early

else, we can jsut meet you when you get here

we

me?

Mike? Mike and Wife

Frank?

In the end, I am all yours and you should focus SOLELY on being selfish to YOUR NEEDS.

if the goal is to drink, relax, and be alone with pete to do the drink, weep, drink, weep, repeat, .... perfect

but crazy pete always thinks in options and choices.

what are your thoughts?

I am crazy glad that I am getting to see you.

Tiny pete doesnt want to share you.

big pete wants to surround you with people to show you life

FYI

something for you to toss into the MIX

II need to start planning the pete 49th dinner party

gibsons

and in some insane ways, it WILL be scheduled around your being there. You have totally entered into the pete required friend circle.

I know that you might have to schedule when, so we will figure out what works for you and do it then. Not like I have to go out the day OF my birthday

much rather the friady or satiurday where people have no responsibilities the next day

FREEDOM DAY

I am FREE

no mortgage

no 401k loan

while I might not be happy with the current bonus, it is still big enough and the base is enough.

but that isnt enough ...

but it means that we will have FUN >>>>>>

oooooooo we should look into a thing before or after ward ....

penn and teller were awesome

I wonder what else was/is availbe around that time...

Pete

HEY

there is a never ending question

which has no limit or end

I am here

TALK

ASK

or listen

tell me which you want

there is no basis for limits

if you need to jsut go on and on and on, I am here

if you NEED me to go on and on and on, to distract, well you KNOW that I can do that

ask

there is no question with any limit

I have watched different people with loss

Mitch told me this week that he was at dinner with Tobi'd father when he died // taking to him at dinner, stoke, dead.

the THING that you will learn and lean on in the next 2 years, is, the others.

the others who have been there and done that

your grief is unique, period.

but their stories give you guidance and direction and hope and understanding

Mike's wife Irene, lost her mother recently. Her stories are different. Mike's view is differnt, His parents passed long ago. but his dad lives on!!! Mike owns and wears at LEAST one of his father;s suits!!!! HOW FUCKING COOL IS THAT ???

Eric lost his mom last year, so there are all those stories.

my mom 

in the end

you are not alone

while this is new to you

you circle of friends and society, it isnt new at all

it is a very smooth spectrum ..

and you have the BLESSING of having the time to visit and say good bye and reconcile and resolve and finish and start and create the burst

will your father's last thoughts be that he is sad that he is leaving you all behind

or ecstatic that his last months and days were filled with joy, and sadness, but filled. with happy and sad people celebrating his life.

OF ALL the HORRIBLE things that my mother was,

her funeral mass, which she PLANNED to the last degree, was a CELEBRATION of her life.

Most of her wedding party were there?? OR was that the 50th rennewal... blury.

The funeral was a celebration of LIFE not a dirge if death.

The priest told HILARIOUS stories about my crazy mom trying to micro manage EVERYTHING, including what DAY the funeral would be one.

The priest shared this with us. He knew her 10-20? years. (You could hear him say "crazy")

The reading were light and uplifting and not NNNNNNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTROOOOOOOOOOO downers

but on the alter she had baskets

baskets FILLED with annual flowers

snap dragons and zinnias and what not.

little plants to take home to plant in the garden.

I have never seen so MANY HAPPY, sad people.

SO HAPPY they had a flower. so she was dead.

SO HAPPY that could go home and plant it, so she would never see it.

I dont know what would be the same thing for your father, but there is something.

And he will live on in that something. In his grand kids. In how you remember him when he is gone.

wow, this is going on the blog, hope you done mind

learn to not mind

I am here. literally. always

call enough times and I will wake up.

the rest of the time I will jsut be awake

and this all started because SOMETHING in your resume worked for me.

do YOU have the resume that you sent to nielsen??
LOL

You should read this. Really!!

Stumbling on Happiness
This is probably the best book which you have never read. It literally changed my life. As hard as it was, I started actually taking some people's recommendations without over thinking it or just outright rejecting them. No, not you, I will still reject your recommendations ;-)

This book is incredibly fun and easy to read, presents tons of information from tons of studies in very fun and surprising ways.

This doesn't make all recommendations equal, but some people on some topics are perfect and you should just trust them and try what they are suggesting. Like Pete on Restaurants in Chicago.


Summer Knight
Yes, this is book 4 in the series. No, do not start with book one. Book one was his first novel and the writing is terrible. If you like book 4, go back and start with Storm Front.

The series currently has 14 books, the last book, Cold Days, is one of, if not my favorite book of all time. The writing and story amazed me.

The stories take place in Chicago, present day, following Harry Dresden, wizard, PI. The writing improves greatly over the series and has moved (and my friends I make read it) to tears at times. What the hell?!!
The stories vary over the series, from vampires, to werewolves, to Fae, to zombies and ghouls, to pretty much everything super-natural, but they are NOT twilight books.


The Alera Codex
Fantasy. One of my favorite series.

The Last Hawk
Sci-Fi. One of my favorite books.
Role reversed society, which by reversing everything, puts our current societies into glaring light.
The major thread of the story follows a complex game and information exchange. We exchange information in a myriad of ways, the questions we ask expose things about ourselves that others can pick up. An interesting view at fictional way of representing information which will lead you to want to learn this game to see what you could see.
If you liked this, Read Primary Inversion, and then here is a reading list. (Link here)

The Way of Kings , Sanderson (link)
When this is done, it will be the best Fantasy ever written.

Thanks Tery Green for making me READ this, only took how many years??
Mistborn Series is quite good...

Marooned in Realtime
Rainbow's End
Vinge
Vicious dog thing book
Vinge is the best



Hyperion

City and of Stairs


The female brain
The male brain
Written by a female MD ... Amazing data



The Deed of Paksenarrion
Horrible cover, great read


World War Z
Shut up and read this book