We need to talk.

"Good, we have time to chat about this before the actual date..."


I had an interesting observation and break through the other day when someone sent an email with "we can talk about this later".

My reaction was visceral.  After thinking about this for a bit, I was able to put a face to that fear after 51 years.

My mother.
"Wait until your father gets home."

Thanks mom for yet another nightmare in my life that I didnt even know that I was dealing, or not dealing with.  Let me count the ways that has caused problems in my life.

1) Thanks for making me fear my father.
2) Hidden abuse is the worst.
3) This led to having zero skills in conflict resolution. If everything gets put off until later.

FFS, whenever I hear that phrase, I panic, punishment is coming LATER.

nice