FYI
(Comments are off. Go ahead. Comment. See what happens. You want to be helpful? Go read something.)
AuDHD
Autistic-ADHD - 20-80% of people who have one, have the other.
(The percentage is not symmetric and studies vary in size and quality.)
“It’s not the nail”
Hey simple mind people, it can be two things.
After a nuclear meltdown, it became clear after a few tests, that I have autism.
(I score at the median for people who have been diagnosed it’s autism.)
Person: but you don’t banned or banned.
Sentient human: well that is pretty fucking ignorant of you.
I’m looking for a specialist to further evaluate my dimensionality of this multidimensional existence.
Social - 69
Sensory/Motor - 24
Circumscribed Interests (LOLOLOL) - 23
Language - 6
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But what is it?
It’s NOT an illness.
Think gender or height or queerness or any of the other things you have no CHOICE in. Like most things, It’s at least partially genetic and partially environmental.
Some aspects are 100% genetic. My brain receptors are different than yours.
That’s why a simple, safe and effective drug works so well for day to day activities that are LITERALLY impossible for me without them.
(For those who STILL don’t get it, throw your glasses and contacts away. Right this second. And anything you wear on your feet. Get back to us after a year. )
(Really? )
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“But how did you not know this?”
Really? How do you not know the answer to that question? Scurry off an answer your own question.
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What this meant for me.
A lifetime of abuse. 61 fucking years.
No one KNEW. But that does excuse nor forgive the hell that was my life.
(Queer people and women KNOW exactly what I’m talking about.)
That mine was hidden and invisible changed nothing.
The number of “assholes” who let me know that i was lazy, rude, messy, procrastinating, exaggerating, making things up, lazy, just wanted to play games, hate everything that you like, the list is endless.
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It’s wonderful to know.
I thought my ADHD diagnosis was life changing.
The double diagnosis is a whole NEW UNIVERSE.
Some of you will feel bad about this.
Talk to your therapist.
The abuse ends today.
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“Pete, you’re just being an asshole.”
Fuck You
Recently, someone decided to mansplain to me the solution: just avoid and ignore the qssholes in my life. And as I visually got more and more upset, they kept repeating it. Over and over and over and over.
News Flash: did they really think that I didn’t know that?
Hint: I was ranting about an upcoming social NIGHTMARE.
Until. Exploded.
I walked out before I said or did something that led to a lethal injection.
This is NOT hyperbole.
Now.
NO ONE is required to listen to me rant.
NO ONE is required to listen to mansplaining.
The ask?
Before volunteering an unasked for solution that is already known, ask:
Am I venting
Or looking for help
I know
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I’m not you. Get a therapist to explain it.
And until then, if I blow up at you, well, fuck you.
Did you not see the smoke? Did you think being rude making fun of my life was “funny”?
FFS
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NOW that I know, I will be seeing a specialist (once I find one) to further quantify my diagnosis.
And then work with my therapist to write scripts: short instructions for things that are beyond my comprehension and how to deal with them.
A close friend had PTSD from the Iraq war, and whenever conversations started triggering him, he did the most amazing thing, he said “I like cheese”.
And when slow people (🙋♂️) didn’t change the topic, he’d go on “cheddar is my favorite.” Etc.
This is an example of a script, to CHANGE THE FUCKING TOPIC.
Now, I’m not the boss of you.
You can demand blah blah blah blah.
Which leads to the next script: 🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶
🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃
(If you stop me from leaving, I will explode.)(🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤢)
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Fuck
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It really is good news.
Knowing gives me power. Or at least a direction.
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One of my favorite abuses from earlier life, were the assholes who accused ME of being an asshole. “You treat your mother like shit!!!!”
No, my mother was a narcissistic asshole. Didn’t matter that neither of us knew my diagnosis. She still abused me.
But the real assholes? You.
You told me that I was an asshole for what I said about my mother.
Instead of hearing what I said.
Gigantic Asshole (who I haven’t spoken to in 20 years): but she’s your mother, you have to love her.
I’m done.
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Fuck
No need for more now
